I’ve been catching up on our Family Weekend recordings, and one of the main things that stood out for me from Stephen Hawkins’ sessions was when he spoke on the walls that we put up around our hearts. He said that out of our hurt, we put up a wall around our hearts because we don’t want to get hurt again, and when we do, we “lock out” the Holy Spirit from ministering to us. This also hinders our faith because we want to stay in our comfortable and safe area.
We can be hurt by so many things in life, and out of self preservation, we subsequently try to protect ourselves from feeling let down, hurt, or disappointed again. We may stop hoping or keep to the “safe” option so we won’t ever feel that hurt again.
Faith and hope in anything will always open up the possibility to be let down, and it can be very painful when that happens. Recently, I have been up close and personal with the phrase “Hope deferred makes the heart sick,” from Proverbs 13:12 and what it feels like.
After you’ve been let down and the things you prayed and hoped for just haven’t happened (or the opposite has happened), the last thing you want is hope, because that’s just another chance to be disappointed and hurt again. This is something I’m trying to work through, and maybe you’re in the same boat too.
Life is hard sometimes, and I know many of us are going through a really difficult time right now. Faith and hope in God can feel nearly impossible to find or even want. One thing that I’m trying to hold on to is that our faith and hope is not in people or circumstances, but God. We can give Him our pain, grief, and doubts. We can trust Him to break down our walls and touch our hearts.
As it says in Psalms 34:18,
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
We may be brokenhearted, crushed, putting up a wall, and/or trying to take it down, but regardless, God is still there to pick up our pieces. Let Him work in and through our hurt. I’ve found that He’s pretty good at that.